My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
