I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
