There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
