I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
