i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I would ride that face into the sunset
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
