He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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