So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
