I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
