Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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