FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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