Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
