Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
