I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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