Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
