Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I puked a lego.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
