whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
