PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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