thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
