pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
