she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
