I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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