how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
