I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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