Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
