well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my being single is dangerous.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
