his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
