the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
