Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
