This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
