omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
