i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
