I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
