sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
