like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
