seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
