I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
