She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
