I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
