oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
