I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
