If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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