Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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