Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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