I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
