I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
