That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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