im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
