You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
