Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
