I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
