I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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